Domestic Violence

Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women

The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women (DAHMW) is a 501(c)(3) non profit organization, and is a member of the Maine Association of Nonprofits. DAHMW is at the forefront of today’s new perspectives on Intimate Partner Abuse and actively assists the research community.

OUR MISSION
To provide crisis intervention and support services to victims of intimate partner violence (IPV) and their families in order to help survivors recover from the trauma of IPV. We work toward the elimination of IPV by increasing  public awareness and decreasing tolerance of IPV through community collaboration and education. DAHMW strives to improve the quality and safety of the lives of victims who are seeking peace in their homes and in their daily existence.

FROM OUR FOUNDER
The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women is a national non profit founded in 2000 in Harmony, Maine. Our agency was established to compliment the traditional domestic violence shelter programs that specialize in services for women abused by their male intimate partners. We specialize in offering supportive services to men abused by their female intimate partners. However, all who call us, whether they are male or female in a heterosexual or same sex abusive relationship are offered the same respect and support because no one deserves to be abused. 

Internet and Computer Safety

If you are in an abusive relationship and your abuser has access to your computer, it is important that you take precautionary steps to hide your internet activities.

The best way to protect yourself is to use a computer your abuser cannot access! Access a computer at a friend’s house or at the library. Use any computer that your abuser cannot access.

Covering Your TracksIf you must use a computer your abuser can access, you can attempt to cover your tracks by doing the following:
1) Use an email account your abuser cannot access
2) Delete insecure information created by your web browser

WARNING:

Even if you take these cautionary steps, your abuser may be able to discover your online activities. To ensure that your online activities are not discovered by your abuser, you must use a computer that your abuser cannot access and be on a wireless or wired network which is not controlled by your abuser.

The National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) has information regarding internet, cell phone and social networking safety.  If you are in danger, try to use a safe computer, land line, cell phone and be aware of the risks in social networking.  More information can be found here.

The Facebook Safety Committee added a Domestic Violence Watchdog to which the NNEDV is an advisor.  Caution is necessary on any social networking site and more information is available here. 

HELPING MEN AND WOMEN IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

DAHMW was founded in October 2000. Since that time we have had thousands of calls come into the helpline from Maine and around the country.

We collaborate with a number of the established women’s domestic violence shelters in the country that also understand that the human capacity for family violence is not limited or dictated by gender. DAHMW offers support and practical services to victims, to the best of our ability given our limited financial resources.

Our trained volunteer advocates  cover our toll free abuse helpline in shifts throughout the day and night. They take calls from victims, their family members and friends who are concerned about them, as well as social services agencies looking for referrals and supportive services for their male clients. 100% of our volunteers (and staff) are compassionate, caring people who want to make a difference in the lives of victims of domestic violence.

Minnesota Unemployment Law Protects Victims of Domestic Violence. Minnesota Statutes Chapter 268.095 (2001) includes leaving employment to protect one's self or children from domestic violence among good cause. You must provide evidence of domestic violence (usually a police report, injunction or statement from a domestic violence service provider). You can get more info from the Minnesota Unemployment Office.

For assistance, call
1-888-7HELPLINE (1-888-743-5754)

Teen Dating violence: What you DON'T know....

	Teenagers often experience violence in dating relationships. Statistics show that one in three teenagers has experienced violence in a dating relationship. In dating violence, one partner tries to maintain power and control over the other through abuse. Dating violence crosses all racial, economic and social lines. Most victims are young women, who are also at greater risk for serious injury. Young women need a dating safety plan. Teen dating violence often is hidden because teenagers typically: are inexperienced with dating relationships. are pressured by peers to act violently. want independence from parents. have "romantic" views of love. Teen dating violence is influenced by how teenagers look at themselves and others. Young men may believe: they have the right to "control" their female partners in any way necessary. "masculinity" is physical aggressiveness they "possess" their partner. they should demand intimacy. they may lose respect if they are attentive and supportive toward their girlfriends. Young women may believe: they are responsible for solving problems in their relationships their boyfriend's jealousy, possessiveness and even physical abuse, is "romantic." abuse is "normal" because their friends are also being abused. there is no one to ask for help. Teenagers can choose better relationships when they learn to identify the early warning signs of an abusive relationship, understand that they have choices, and believe they are valuable people who deserve to be treated with respect. Early warning signs that your date may eventually become abusive: Extreme jealousy Controlling behavior Quick involvement Unpredictable mood swings Alcohol and drug use Explosive anger Isolates you from friends and family Uses force during an argument Shows hypersensitivity Believes in rigid sex roles Blames others for his problems or feelings Cruel to animals or children Verbally abusive Abused former partners Threatens violence Common clues that indicate a teenager may be experiencing dating violence: Physical signs of injury Truancy, dropping out of school Failing grades Indecision Changes in mood or personality Use of drugs/alcohol Pregnancy Emotional outburst Isolation From the Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence newsletter, Winter 1999 Help is available for teenagers

If you are a teenager involved in an abusive relationship, you need to remember that no one deserves to be abused or threatened. Remember you cannot change your batterer, and in time the violence will get worse. You need to take care of yourself. Talk to a trusted adult or locate a shelter or agency serving victims of domestic abuse in your community. Together, you can talk about making a plan to end the relationship and remain safe.
Call the Alabama Domestic Violence 24-hour hotline, 1-800-650-6522. Help is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. (http://www.acadv.org/dating.html)
                                        

Depression

Why do most people shy away from the word DEPRESSION? Many people fail to recognize what depression is so I am going to take this time to share some information with you.  http://www.upliftprogram.com/depression_stats.html

Depression is one of the greatest problems and killers of our time. Here we list the latest depression statistics, reveal surprising facts about underlying depression causes, the failure of standard treatments, and what works for depression in the long-term. 

• Depressive disorders affect approximately 18.8 million American adults or about 9.5% of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year. This includes major depressive disorder, dysthymic disorder, and bipolar disorder. 
• Everyone, will at some time in their life be affected by depression -- their own or someone else's, according to Australian Government statistics. (Depression statistics in Australia are comparable to those of the US and UK.) 
• Pre-schoolers are the fastest-growing market for antidepressants. At least four percent of preschoolers -- over a million -- are clinically depressed.
  
• The rate of increase of depression among children is an astounding 23% p.a. 
• 15% of the population of most developed countries suffers severe depression. 
• 30% of women are depressed. Men's figures were previously thought to be half that of women, but new estimates are higher. 
• 54% of people believe depression is a personal weakness. 
• 41% of depressed women are too embarrassed to seek help. 
• 80% of depressed people are not currently having any treatment. 
• 92% of depressed African-American males do not seek treatment. 

• 15% of depressed people will commit suicide. 

• Depression will be the second largest killer after heart disease by 2020 -- and studies show depression is a contributory factor to fatal coronary disease.
   
• Depression results in more absenteeism than almost any other physical disorder and costs employers more than US$51 billion per year in absenteeism and lost productivity, not including high medical and pharmaceutical bills. 

Causes of Depression

• Short-term (exogenous) depression can be caused by loss or extreme trauma.
• Chronic or life-long (endogenous) depression is caused by trauma in childhood which includes: emotional, physical or sexual abuse; yelling or threats of abuse; neglect (even two parents working); criticism; inappropriate or unclear expectations; maternal separation; conflict in the family; divorce; family addiction; violence in the family, neighborhood or TV; racism and poverty.
• There may be a genetic basis to some depression, but even if there is that genetic propensity must be triggered by some traumatic or stressful event.
  
• The problem is structural more than chemical, although the latter is affected.
• Trauma prevents certain parts of the brain (hippocampus and frontal lobe, where decisions are made) from developing properly.
  
  
  
• Certain neurochemicals are also involved, such as a surplus of noradrenaline, perhaps as a result of the structural problem. Recent studies indicate that serotonin, which is targeted by most antidepressants (SSRIs), is not as much a factor in depression as the long-term presence of stress hormone cortisol.
  
  
  
• Physiological problems, plus learned beliefs and behaviors, make functional decisions difficult, and the results reinforce the depression in a vicious cycle.

Suicide Warning Signs:

• Appearing depressed or sad most of the time.
  (Untreated depression is the number one cause for suicide.)
• Talking or writing about death or suicide.
• Withdrawing from family and friends.
• Feeling hopeless.
• Feeling helpless.
• Feeling strong anger or rage.
• Feeling trapped -- like there is no way out of a situation.
• Experiencing dramatic mood changes.
• Abusing drugs or alcohol.
• Exhibiting a change in personality.
• Acting impulsively.
• Losing interest in most activities.
• Experiencing a change in sleeping habits.
• Experiencing a change in eating habits.
• Losing interest in most activities.
• Performing poorly at work or in school.
• Giving away prized possessions.
• Writing a will.
• Feeling excessive guilt or shame.
• Acting recklessly.

It should be noted that some people who die by suicide do not show any suicide warning signs.

But about 75 percent of those who die by suicide do exhibit some suicide warning signs, so we need to be aware of what the suicide warning signs are and try to spot them in people. If we do see someone exhibiting suicide warning signs, we need to do everything that we can to help them.

If you or someone you know exhibits several of the suicide warning signs listed above, immediate action is required. Always take suicide warning signs seriously. http://www.suicide.org

1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

Suicide Prevention Lines